All That You Undid

You talk of a girl

And my ears pick up

Fuming within

When you call her cute

Oh how civilized I used to be?

You exhibit levity

And I laugh like a child

Amidst a bewildered crowd.

I laugh even louder when alone

Oh how cultured I used to be?

A mild ache you complain

And pillar to post I run

Sleep eluding, peace evading

Till health smiles

Oh how dispassionate I used to be?

You promise to drop in

And am the doorway all day

All work pushed into the house, out of me

Idle I stand, waiting..

Oh what a workaholic I used to be?

And then you ring up

You could not make it that day, apologies galore

Not a word impaled me,

As I burst into tears, as if the world had halted

Oh how composed I used to be?

We walk on the road

And how hard you clutch me at the crossing

Stopping for chocs, dropping bags with intent

All for your mollycoddle

Oh how mature I used to be

Today, at your tomb

Dry eyed, flower handed, empty hearted

I stand, civilized, cultured, dispassionate, composed, mature…

All that you undid, back with full vigour

Oh how humanlike I used to be!